In today’s non-news, a cosmetic surgeon out of London has decided, using proprietary face-mapping technology, that Beyoncé is the second most attractive woman human in the world. The most beautiful? That randomly decreed distinction goes to none other than 23-year-old model Bella Hadid.
To determine which lady was the fairest of them all, Harley Street’s Dr. Julian De Silva, combined his fancy tech with the ancient Greek Golden Ratio of Beauty Phi, which was used by Renaissance artists like Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci to create mathematically perfect (which is to say, symmetrical) subjects.
Dr. De Silva told the Daily Mail that, Hadid “was the clear winner when all elements of the face were measured for physical perfection.” Scoring a whopping 94.35 percent on a scale that should be taken with 94.35 million grains of salt, “she had the highest overall reading for her chin.”
Queen Beyoncé was a close runner-up, walking away from the random test with 92.44 percent perfection. And yet, despite how arbitrary these “scientific” findings are, this flagrant affront has stoked the ire of the interwebs, with many crying foul.
In case you’re wondering, third runner-up was Amber Heard, 33, with a 91.85 percent pretty score with Ariana Grande pulling up in fake fourth place and Taylor Swift in fifth.
